2019: MY YEAR OF STEPPING INTO THE ARENA
“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”
—Brené Brown
2018 was, in so many ways, like The Tower from the tarot’s major arcana. The Tower is all about collapse of the old system, of letting go of ways of being and doing that no longer serve us.
The Tower is not a card of peaceful tranquility. When we’re in the throes of transformation, we’re not exactly meditating in a Zen garden. Transformation is hard. It’s scary. It requires a level of self-awareness that can be painful. It requires honesty that can rip us wide open. It exposes our fears, our flaws, our false beliefs.
And after the dust settles, as we stand in the ruins of what we once were, we are left with amazing opportunity. A fresh start. A new beginning. But we begin with a greater awareness than we had before—and that knowledge, painful as it was to acquire, is a gift.
From the outside, nothing much changed in my life in 2018. I enter 2019 living in the same house in the same town. My spiritual belief system is the same. My intended career path is the same. The major relationships in my life are the same. But on the inside, I have changed. I have found the courage to be my authentic, eccentric self, to share my work—my stories—with the world. I have found the courage to forge my own path, and finding that courage was not easy.
As I step into 2019, though, I enter with a clearer vision than I’ve ever had before of the path I want to walk. Armed with reserves of magic, love, and courage, I step onto this indie author path.
Here’s just some of what I hope to achieve in 2019:
The launch of my Tangled Magic Series: four fantasy-romance novellas/novels, beginning in May 2019. (Status update 12/16/2020: Books 1 and 2 now available, book 3 available for pre-order! Books 4 and 5 still in the works! Yes, I added a fifth book to the series.)
The launch of my YouTube channel: I’m planning guided meditations, poetry, readings from my stories, and more. (Status update, 12/16/2020: Pending).
I’m planning a blog series called Tarot Tuesdays, with the first Tuesday of every month featuring a post dedicated to discovering the life lessons in the tarot. (Status update, 12/16/2020: More periodic than monthly at this point, but I hope that fellow tarot enthusiasts find wisdom and magic in these posts!)
And, of course, the launch of this website, which is very much a work-in-progress. (Status update, 12/16/2020: Started out with self-hosted WordPress before transitioning to a Squarespace site.)
I may have a few other plans in the works, but I’ll keep those top-super-secret for now.
As we enter 2019, I wish you the brightest blessings. May 2019 bring you health, joy, love, and abundance.
Dear 2019,
Here I am. Stepping into the arena. Going boldly in the direction of my dreams. Ready to be my fierce, authentic self. Knowing I’ll make mistakes. Determined to learn from them. Ready to stop hiding behind perfectionism and be seen as I am. Here I am. And here I go.
Sincerely,
Me
What lessons did you learn in 2018? What hopes do you have for 2019? Have you ever experienced the exhilarating transformation of The Tower?